so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
