So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
