I forgot how hot balto sounded
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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