i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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