My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
