Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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