I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
