but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize