i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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