Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
