Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I understand Curling. That high.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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