Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
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I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
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Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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