I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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