Nicole vs. Life
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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