is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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