If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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