how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
