my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
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