I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
