i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
