I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
