what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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