He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
