oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I think I just sharted jello shots
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
