Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
