i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
