Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
