Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
