My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
