if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
