I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
