Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
