Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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