the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
