I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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