Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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