Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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