Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
