You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
