omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize