whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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