I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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