I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
