so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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