I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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