Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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