If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
