I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
