mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
