My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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