I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
