So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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