there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
