Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I fill condoms, not promises.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize