If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
