NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
