I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
