the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
