I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
