dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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