Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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