I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
