Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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