i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
