What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
