I just made out with a guy for $7.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
