The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
